There is something you can kill in a child that makes them very dangerous. I can't really put my finger on what that something is but I have seen kids who no longer posses it and to give them a "regular" life is almost impossible. When a baby cries out, mommy runs to them and shows them how loved they are by feeding both their stomachs and their hearts. When you grow up never being any one's baby you figure that all you have is your self. A self reliant person is scary. We have taken in kids who look normal on the outside but have a hole inside that is too big/late/hard- to fill. Nobody and their values matters to them and you can't take things away because they don't care about anything. Other people (parents) are never to be trusted - they will hurt you or let you down. If you can't trust then you must lie and sneak and hurt before they hurt you. These kids break my heart but I can't reach theirs. "Just loving them" is too little too late. We have sons in jail and a daughter in placement because nothing matters to them. I know God grieves over children like these. And you can't give up on them because that's what they expect. But sometimes you sure want to.
8 comments:
Kate,
I don't know how you do it. Reading your blog makes me want to cry! You're right, self reliant people are terrifying. My heart goes out to those who have been mistreated and abandoned, leaving them alone and bitter in this big world. You are an amazing woman! I think that you and James have a bigger influence on the kids you bring into your home and the people you come in contact with than you two may realize.
Don't give up.
Alexandra
I told my husband yesterday that you seem like the kind of person I want to be when I grow up. :)
My dad coined a term for me when I was a child that I still remember. He worked with some patients (he's a dr.) that were in a 100%full time care facility and would never grow up mentally. He called them broken dolls. He said this while crying (one of only a couple times that I witnessed)
Not garbage or worthless, or a mistake. just broken. And he cared for them like that. With great tenderness, even though they didn't know he was even there.
In a way people can be broken in spirit as well. How do you fix them? God only knows. I'm just a peon in the scheme of God's plan, and i know virtually nothing.
But I'm smart enough to know that you're on the right track. :)
I know what kills the kid, using them, showing them false love, letting them believe they have no purpose in life but for your own gain. I saw this in Mike and his parents also my son in jail felt abandonment from his father in how he was treated from a toddler til his father's death. Their sense or worthlessness turns into deadly consequenses for them in one way or another.
anyway, just thought I would share my reflections. Thank you for the sweet comment about my daughter. She is a daddies girl with his personality and soft strength. My only one and she is a beauty. Yours all look beautiful in the previous posts. I love how goofy and happy they all are.
God is happy when He looks at you.
Ditto what James said -
And you have no idea what a difference you have made in the lives of some who would have headed down the path of brokenness.
Thanks for being you - and not giving up.
I love you!
Oh yeah - and thanks for letting us stay in this totally super house!
I really admire you! You are so right about not giving up, that is what they expect. God can turn even a heart of a stone to flesh again. I sure hope he does soon for all of your sakes. So sad, but so wonderful that they do have someone who cares, even if they dont believe it YET.
Wow Kate, don't know how you do it. You truly are one of God's instruments of glory that He uses to minister His love to these children through.
I could understand how sometimes you might want to give up but you don't, even where others did long ago.
Someday, God will greet you with the words "Well done, my good and faithful servant" and you will know exactly how much you and your husband mattered to these precious children of His.
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