How Do You Do This Right?

  One of the most difficult parts of open adoptions, which most of ours are, is helping the kids walk through the land minds of emotions that visits often can be.  Having a good  partnership/relationship with the biological family is the healthiest for the kids, but not always easy  to achieve.  Most of the families request very little or no involvement regardless of our open policy, which makes the visits that do occur carry great weight.  Although our kids are extremely excited to have mom come for a visit, the emotions of the past and the pull of two ,often very different lifestyles, can be confusing and hard.  Some of our kids were too young to remember much about their "first family" but others carry a weight as heavy as themselves.  And even for myself the visits can be tough.  When the kids come to be mine, they are MINE.  I have to share them with another mom who loves them too.  Nothing easy about all this.
  And yesterday we had one of those visits.  Despite the awkward start and the roller coaster of emotions on everyone's part, it was a wonderful day.  And if you look real close in this picture you can see some hearts healing.