Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Heart to Heart

Every Tuesday we take our 3 little guys to visit their mom for an hour.
She has them for that hour in a little room that has a camera running so that the social worker can supervise their interaction.
Personally it would drive me crazy just to be in that little of a room with the three boys for an hour. Sometimes our neighborhood seems to small for those three! But to know that your time is being critiqued....
She misses them and brings bags of treats every week and apologies each time to me, "I hope it's not too much candy." What else can she do? And it's hard for her. It hurts her when they call me mom or sit on my lap or talk about our life that doesn't include her. And every week that they're here she loses a little bit.
And I care about her because it means something important to the boys when I do.
Today while she was waiting for her ride I invited her to sit in the car with us and wait. We talked and laughed.
Tonight when I tucked Jeremiah into bed, he said, "Remember when both of you my moms were in the car together? (big smile) Can we do that again? I like that."
I pray that I can continue to feel compassion for her, as it is in me, to not. I really want to hate her and find the bad and keep record of wrong and rejoice when she falls. As always, it comes back to trusting God to work out the situation and doing what is right in the mean time. Big job for this small person.


5 comments:

jen said...

Kate, I have contact with my last sib group's mom. I love her too. She is trying so hard to get her youngest two back. (not the ones I have) I think we may even allow a visit soon. I never would have agreed to that in the past. I just see things differently.

Emily said...

You sure got enough reinforcement by your little guy. That would keep me going.

Perri said...

Kate - you are doing a good tihng - not only for the mom, but for the boys as well.

I know it's tough.

Lane said...

I think I'm gonna cry...

Halfmoon Girl said...

You get the big picture- that must make such a difference to the children you care for. This brought tears to my eyes. But for the grace of God go I... Jeremiah's comment to you says it all. People ask me sometimes how I put up with my ex. It really isn't hard when you do it for your kids.