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Sunday 3 April 2016

Fun with Vultures

  I really enjoy living in our rural West Virginia neighborhood.  It's peaceful and beautiful and the land is so fertile you get the sense that carrying a machete might be useful if you should wander off the road. People here don't try to grow grass - they spend hours every week trying to get it to stop. You won't often see a truck with a "Lawn Care" sign travelling around, but you can bet there are as many John Deer mowers as there are pick up trucks parked in the yards. We are hemmed in by the Blue Ridge Mountains rising about the Shenandoah River, which was apparently striking enough to cause John Denver to immediately write a song about it. 
  All this beauty is not without its flaws.  With the trees and grass come deer and gnats. I really hate them both. The gnats are forever in your face and the deer seem to take bets with each other to see who can cross the road in front of your car without getting hit. They usually loose that bet.

  
But lately a new pest has invaded our land...vultures. They are huge, ugly, they eat dead stuff and their poop is everywhere.  They roost in our pine trees every evening and they give me nightmares.  My friend Nancy,who has a interest in getting rid of these birds due to her fear they might fly off with one of her small dogs, found a great on line store that sells "bird repellents" because, believe it or not, vultures are a protected species. They probably have some environmentalist's cat held hostage to maintain their status. 
Anyway, I sent away for the 15 mm double shot Scare-Away Launcher and 
the Screamer Siren ammunition.   


The gun sends an incredibly loud shrieking, whorling ball of pyrotechnics into the air. The first time I fired it, about 60 vultures flew out of the pines in my backyard, across the street and into the trees behind my daughter's house. It was very impressive and many of the neighbors came out to watch as there was nothing else going on that night.
I've shot it a few more times and the thrill of watching them fly up flapping their enormous wings as they leave, only gets better. I smartly purchased 100 rounds, which should provided
entertainment for the better part of the summer.

2 comments:

Nimgee said...

Where was I? I missed the spectacle. And, I haven't seen any recently. :) So....it worked?

lilbets said...

That is hilarious. Bet you daughter wasnt happy having them behind her house