Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Not a Good Junkie

   Five days out from a complete knee replacement I have made a few discoveries, the most significant being my inability to use narcotics. Although they are a necessity for healing and rehab, I find the feeling of altered awareness to be awkward. Never claiming to be normal (my life is proof), this crazy is....crazy.
 We had to go to the grocery store today, and not being able to drive, Isaiah gladly offered to take me. Walmart must emit some high pitched undetectable by human ears
sound when I plan to go. Every child comes running. To shop. Boys. I don't get it. (All of this does relate to the junkie part - just setting the stage.)
 After bumping elbows and carts with half of the people we know, all nine of us head out to the van. The kids take care of putting the groceries in the back while I climb in the passenger seat and Ezra takes my wheelchair back to the store.
  While traveling home I notice I had missed three calls from Walmart. I call back three times, give them my name and ask if they were calling because I had forgotten my wallet or something. The third time the lady informs me, "Honey, Walmart doesn't call people." Okay, ouch, I'm stupid.
  The kids unpacked the car and I came in and sat down to rest my poor knee when the phone rang. It was the secretary at my church. She drops the bomb. "Kate, my daughter is at Walmart with a police officer and Ezra.  You forgot him." I was shocked. We all were. No one had even noticed him missing and we live a half hour from the store.(I think this is Ezra's least favorite and most repeated part of the story. "You mean NOBODY noticed I was missing?")
  I spoke to the officer who didn't find any of this as amusing as I did and we were able to retrieve him. Ezra said the officer asked him if his mother had gotten mad at him while at the store. (No, actually I'm just that bad a junkie apparently.) 
 Now I'm on this pain medicine which is my excuse....did you notice how many other people were in the van with me?